Our Story:
From Heartbreak to Hope
This is a story about unexpected journeys, devastating losses, and the power of professional counseling to save marriages and transform lives. It's our story, but it's also the story of thousands of families raising children with disabilities who face challenges most people never imagine.
When Life Doesn't Go as Planned
When our son Michael was born, my wife Susan and I were delivered an unexpected and heartbreaking diagnosis: Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. The news shattered our world. We felt lost, engulfed in a sense of grief and trauma that was impossible to articulate.
We went into problem-solving mode. In an effort to steer our family in a different direction, we pursued a sex selection procedure, hoping to avoid another son with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Eighteen months later, we were preparing to welcome twin girls, Emily and Olivia. We felt hopeful again.
But in what felt like a cruel twist of fate, our joy was short-lived when we discovered in a regular ultrasound that Emily had a rare brain malformation. We would have not one, but two children with significant disabilities. The challenges were overwhelming. We navigated endless battles with schools and medical professionals, often feeling exhausted and isolated.
And frankly, at times our family who should have been our best support abandoned us in times of the greatest need and suffering. They were tired of adjusting plans so we could participate. They hurt us worse than anyone else in the world could have and were not always there for us when we needed them most.
Despite the difficulties, our marriage and intimate relationship remained our primary source of strength. We are incredibly stubborn, and we leaned on one another. Still, the weight of trauma, PTSD, grief, and the constant struggle to support our children took its toll.
I took on the role of what I called the "cruise director of fun." My mission became clear: to support my family while infusing our lives with laughter and joy. I affectionately referred to my two disabled kids as our "broken kids," believing that they merely had minor "broken parts" while being remarkably similar to any other children. It was essential for me that they knew this truth deeply.
Each of my kids had their own special nickname. Mike was our mischievous "tardlick," Emily was our joyful "Emsilly," and Olivia, with her slender frame, was our "Twiggy." Our home was bursting with the energy of kids running around, screaming in delight, especially during wild games of dart gun battles. Those moments were filled with indescribable laughter and a sense of normalcy amid our unique circumstances.
Then finally the unimaginable happened. We lost Emily very suddenly on May 16th, 2013. The grief was crushing.
Then everything almost shattered completely. In January 2021, Susan and I almost divorced. The accumulated weight of trauma, loss, and exhaustion had pushed us to the breaking point. We had weathered so much, but this felt like too much.
By some miracle, we found a marriage counselor. She literally helped us cope and gave us some key strategies for our marriage that improved our communication and intimacy. The suffering and struggle still continued, and a few months later Michael passed on August 3rd, 2021.
Each loss deepened our wounds and tested our resolve, but our marriage survived. We were better able to cope with Michael's passing thanks to that timely infusion of counseling and the skills we learned. Our counselor provided us with tools to cope with our losses, communicate effectively, and support each other through our darkest days.
The 87% Statistic
According to Dr. Ann Gold Buscho in Psychology Today, approximately 87% of parents of disabled children experience divorce. Thankfully, Susan and I defied those odds. Our marriage persevered, but it wasn't by chance. We stumbled into marriage counseling, which became a lifeline for us.
We learned that every family grieves in their own way, but uniformly, mentally healthy parents are better equipped to support their children. This realization ignited a passion within us to help others facing similar struggles.
Our Mission Today
At The Holland House Project, we are dedicated to ensuring that families access the counseling services they need. We believe that with the right support, families can rebuild, overcome, and thrive. Our mission is to offer love, understanding, and accessibility to resources for those navigating the heart-wrenching challenges of raising children with disabilities.
Together, we can help families weather the storms and strengthen their bonds. We can help them find the beauty in Holland.
Our Mission, Vision, and Values
Our Mission
To be a beacon of support during times of crisis for families with disabled children, helping them access vital counseling services that address trauma, grief, PTSD, and relationship challenges.
Our Vision
A world where families raising disabled children are fully supported, empowered, and equipped with the resources and community they need to thrive.
Our Core Values
Compassion
We lead with empathy and genuine care, understanding the profound challenges families face and meeting them with warmth and dignity.
Resilience
We believe in the strength of families and communities to overcome adversity, supporting and their courageous journeys.
Accessibility
We remove barriers to support by providing both counseling access and financial assistance, ensuring no family is left behind.
Community
We foster connections and belonging, recognizing that families are stronger together and that shared experiences create powerful healing.
Hope
We champion possibility and positive futures, believing that with proper support, every family can find light in their darkest moments.
The Story Behind Our Name
Our organization takes its inspiration from a powerful poem written by Emily Perl Kingsley, a writer for Sesame Street and mother of a child with Down syndrome. Her poem, "Welcome to Holland," beautifully captures the experience of raising a child with disabilities.
Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
Copyright © 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of the author.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability, to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this:
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.
This poem resonated deeply with us. Like so many families, we found ourselves in Holland when we expected Italy. Through our journey, we discovered that Holland has its own profound beauty. We want to help other families catch their breath, look around, and discover the windmills and tulips in their own unexpected journeys.
Meet Our Team
Kirk Coppinger
Owner and Managing Member
Kirk has 25+ years in construction, working on homes, hospitals, casinos, tilt buildings, and schools. As a licensed general contractor in Utah, he efficiently manages projects by understanding building practices and regulations. Kirk addresses unique challenges, ensuring client needs are met while upholding safety and quality standards.
But beyond his professional expertise, Kirk is a father who understands profound loss and the power of resilience. He serves as the driving force behind The Holland House Project, bringing both business acumen and personal compassion to the mission of supporting families in crisis.
Dr. Susan Coppinger
Owner
Susan is a compassionate audiologist with personal and professional experience supporting families with disabled children. As a former Certified Nursing Assistant and full-time mother, she understands their challenges deeply.
After the painful losses of her brother, son, and daughter, she gained special insight into the struggles families face. Susan brings clinical expertise combined with lived experience to ensure The Holland House Project serves families with both professionalism and profound empathy.
Olivia Coppinger
Graphic Design and Marketing
Olivia is our marketing and graphic design guru. She's always willing to help and is very compassionate. When you call, she will likely be the one returning your call with the most compassion. As the surviving sister who watched her parents navigate unimaginable loss, Olivia brings a unique perspective and dedication to helping other families thrive.
Our Design Partners
Kale Snyder
Owner of Kamari Design
Kale has been designing our development projects for several years. She's very tasteful and does particularly well with Organic Modern style of design. She is as reliable and trustworthy as folks come.
Miki Coppinger
Owner of Robbin and Birch Design
Miki does our kitchen and bath designs and specializes in more traditional interior design styles. Miki works hand in hand with our lead designer Kale and makes up the other half of our dynamic design team.
Why Professional Counseling Makes All the Difference
The statistics are sobering. Eighty-seven percent of parents raising children with disabilities experience divorce. The stress is relentless. The grief is complex. The isolation is profound. Many families face this alone, without the professional support that could help them not just survive, but thrive.
Counseling doesn't take away the challenges. It doesn't change your child's diagnosis or erase the daily struggles. But it gives you tools. Tools to communicate when words fail. Tools to process grief that feels overwhelming. Tools to reconnect with your partner when you're both running on empty.
We know this because counseling saved our marriage. It didn't happen automatically. We had to do the hard work. But our counselor gave us a framework, strategies, and hope. She helped us see that we could weather these storms together. That's what we want for every family we serve.
"Counseling didn't take away our pain, but it gave us the strength to weather the storms together. Every family deserves what we received: timely, professional support during their darkest days."
— Kirk & Susan Coppinger
Our Unique Approach
Direct Payment Model
We pay counselors directly, not families. This ensures funds go toward actual counseling sessions and removes any stigma or complexity around receiving financial assistance. We handle the paperwork so families can focus on healing.
Partnership with Medical Professionals
We work exclusively with social workers at disability clinics who identify families most in need. We don't provide medical advice or refer families to counselors. We simply remove financial barriers when families are already connected to appropriate care.
Meaningful Support Levels
Up to $2,000 per family ensures at least 12 counseling sessions. This isn't a token amount. It's substantial support that allows families to make real progress in therapy. We guarantee a minimum number of sessions so families can develop trust with their counselor and learn lasting skills.
Be Part of Our Mission
Every family with a disabled child deserves access to professional counseling during times of crisis. Your support helps us remove financial barriers and change family trajectories. Together, we can help families discover the beauty in their own Holland.